The Wedding
by ming15
Summary: Brittana flashbacks as the wedding progresses. Warning: OOC


A/N: I would like to thank my friend music_inochi for encouraging me to write my first fic and for being my beta too. ^^,

I dedicate this to my "Brittany".

* * *

**The Wedding**

As I am standing here dressed in a white suit, I would have looked totally perfect and hot if not for the nerves I've been feeling since I started waiting for the bride. I feel like I could pass out any minute now.

I never thought that we would come to this…

**_Kindergarten_**

_I was sitting alone inside our classroom while my classmates were outside playing. I was trying to avoid the boys who love to pick on me. Suddenly, a blonde girl came hopping in._

_"You are Santana." She stated with a big smile. I was surprised that she remembered my name. I didn't even know the name of most of classmates yet since it was only our second week. Well, maybe except for that loud girl sitting next to me named Rachel and the two boys who pick on me, Noah and Finn._

_ "My name is Brittany." She held out her hand and I shook it hesitantly. Instead of letting my hand go, she suddenly pulled me out of my chair._

_"What are you doing?" I asked as I was being dragged across the floor._

_She just simply said, "I am your boyfriend. I will protect you from them so let's go out and play." She held my hand firmly as she cheerfully led me out._

* * *

…the wedding she has always dreamed of ever since we were young.

I have no cares for the disapproving looks some of the guest are giving me. I chose to wear a white suit instead of a dress. This is what she wanted. This is how we played it. I am always the groom and she is my bride.

Before I could glare back at a guest who shot me a disapproving look, the music started playing. Everyone looked behind to see the bride walking down the aisle.

Everything seemed to fade and all I can see is my best friend dressed in white. She is glowing.

**_The summer before freshman year_**

_We were sitting in the backseat of the Pierce's minivan on our way to cheer camp. It was a long drive and my excitement ran out after the first two hours. I was so bored of playing that stupid game on my phone. I looked up at Brittany staring out the window. She noticed me and gave me a sweet smile. Suddenly my face felt hot and I looked back down my phone to hide my blushing face. I peeked at her over my phone and she was still staring at me with her smile not fading. I looked back down again feeling more embarrassed. Why did she just suddenly look so beautiful? Why did she look like her face was glowing? I didn't dare look at her again for the rest of the drive in fear that I would get blinded by that glow._

_Though I was not aware of it at the time, this might have been the moment I fell in love with her._

* * *

She looks so beautiful in her wedding dress. She is wearing an off shoulder dress with a long train. She looks at the guests through her veil and gives them her sweet smile as she gracefully walked down the aisle.

**_Senior Year_**

_We were hanging out alone under the bleachers talking about what would lie ahead after graduating. I got a college scholarship and would take up a business administration course because that was what my parents wanted and I want to make them proud. Brittany would start teaching full time at a dance studio. She is a very talented dancer. I always get lost watching her graceful movements._

_"Come on." She stood up from the ground and offered her hand. I gave her my hand and pulled me up then started to twirl me around._

_"What are you doing?" I asked while giggling._

_"I just feel like dancing with you." She pulled me toward her and laughed before holding both of my hands to slow dance._

* * *

She is holding a bouquet of yellow roses and I can see her hands are slightly shaking. She then looked at me and blue eyes met brown. She gave me a different smile – the one only meant for me. Time stood still as we held our gaze.

**_First Christmas after high school_**

_We were dining out at Breadstix catching up on things that took place in the past few months of being apart. We didn't promise to communicate regularly and I was so busy with college that I only get to talk and see her now after I got back for Christmas break._

_"What?" She asked sounding annoyed to hide her embarrassment as she looked away._

_"What do you mean what?" I looked at her in confusion while taking a bite of my breadstick._

_"Stop looking at me like that." She said directly at her spaghetti._

_"I wasn't looking at you, you looked at me and I thought you were going to say something. You looked at me first!" I started to feel a bit embarrassed too but I didn't show it and laughed awkwardly._

_"Ugh. Never mind." We continued eating in silence trying to hide our smiles. When did a simple dinner get so nerve wrecking?_

She starts to cry. The tears rolling down her face doesn't make her look like a mess. Instead, it made her more magnificent. There is nothing as wonderful as seeing a bride crying tears of joy on her bridal march. Her happiness seems to make everything around her bright.

_"Uhm, Finn asked me out..." I broke the silence while eating our shared chocolate cake slice. I have to tell her now._

_She looked at me surprised and put down her fork. "Don't go out with him." She said flatly but her eyes looked like she's about to cry._

_"Why not? It's kinda too late to say that. We're already going out." I looked at her intently as she tried to blink back the tears about to fall. I expected her to sound excited like when we would talk about our crushes._

_"Please, don't…" I almost didn't hear her. "So how did it happen?" Just like that her mood changed and she sounded interested and almost genuinely happy to hear my story._

_It was then I realized my mistake. I thought I liked Finn. I liked the attention he was giving me and the things we talked about. Seeing Brittany again after a long while made me realize what I was missing. I missed her so much. I missed that happy and comfortable feeling being close to her brings. I didn't feel that comfort being touched by Finn. I realized that, through all these years; I was in love with my best friend. It hurt to see her fight back her tears and pretend she was alright._

* * *

Her radiance envelops my whole being. Anyone feeling down will feel better upon seeing her give off so much happiness. I'm pretty sure she can cure any kind of illness with her smile. I returned her smile with the same intensity. At this moment, it feels like our souls are one.

**_My 19_****_th_****_ Birthday_**

_I opened my eyes to see a pair of blue ones staring back at me._

_"Happy birthday." She whispered with a smile. We stayed lying on our sides lost in each other's eyes until her gaze turned mischievous. She threw the pillow she was hugging at my face and I hit her with mine. Our laughter filled the room as we tried to hit and poke each other's sides. Somehow I ended up on top of her, straddling her hips. Our eyes met and our laughter died down. I got off her and lied on my stomach at her side, acting like nothing happened, but my heart was racing really fast. She flipped on to her stomach and played with my stuffed bear. I snatched the bear from her._

_"I'm Vampire Bear and I'm gonna suck your blood!" Using my version of a cute bear voice trying to sound spooky as I pressed the bear's head on her neck. She giggled and tried to snatch it back from me._

_"Ahhhh!" Came my bear scream as she tried to snatch it from my hands. I pressed it to other parts of her body and dodged when her hands came snatching._

_"The bear went over the mountain,_

_the bear when over the mountain,_

_the bear went over the mountain…" I sang while walking the bear up and down her butt._

_She pouted her lips and tried to look offended but failed as a huge smile split across her face. She pushed me and snatched the bear as I fell on my back._

_"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water…" She sang while walking the bear up my chest, looking at me naughtily all the while. I smirked and tried to snatch the stuffed animal from her hands, thinking of another nursery rhyme._

_"Santana quit fooling around with Brittany and come down. Your food will get cold." My mother's voice came through the door. We sprang apart and I almost fell off my bed. My mother would always interrupt us like that when we got too loud. I wonder what she thought we were doing._

* * *

Seeing her with so much happiness also made my heart hurt. I didn't realize when my tears started to fall.

**_Graduation Day_**

_We were looking out the window of the College of Business Administration building, watching my fellow graduates on the ground below taking their last group pictures and saying their goodbyes. My parents already left for the final preparations for my graduation party while Brittany and I stayed behind to have a final tour of the campus and to talk._

_"Have you read my letter, Britt-britt?" It took years of dancing around each other before I finally couldn't bear the pain of being just Brittany's best friend. I wanted to start a new life and leave my past behind. I wrote a letter to her confessing my feelings and why I wanted to leave town._

_"No, I want you to tell me directly." Why was she making this hard for me? It took me all night to write that letter yet she wanted me to narrate it to her._

_"It would take me hours to tell you the contents of that letter, you have to read it."I didn't want to go through the pain I went through again while writing the letter. I cried while writing it._

_"Can you please make it short?" Who can say no to that pleading face? I could never say no to that face. That was why I wrote to her, so I didn't have to tell her in person and wouldn't change my mind. She begged to talk to me today and I caved._

_"Alright. Remember the first time we went to cheer camp?" She nodded. I told her it was the first time I saw her in a new light but I ignored it because we are best friends._

_"I broke up with Puck after you told me not to date him. I lied when I said we just didn't work out. You almost cried that night. I'm so sorry. I didn't think the news would hurt you. I never dated anyone since then because you would always get jealous of anyone who gets close to me." I took a deep breath to calm myself. She nodded her head for me to go on._

_"Why did you say that you were my boyfriend back in kindergarten?" I asked as my train of thought suddenly jumped to my first memory of her._

_"I did?" She was taken aback by the question. "I can't remember saying that." She touched her chin in deep thought._

_"Yes, you did. Why did you approach me?"_

_"I would always see you sitting alone inside because the boys picked on you. You seemed so lonely and I thought I should try to make you smile. Look, we even became the best of friends even though people think that we are opposites."_

_"Yeah, we argue about just anything. I wonder how we lasted this long." The tension between us disappeared and this seemed like our usual light conversations._

_"That's how we show our affection. I miss when you're acting like a bitch."_

_"I'm so sorry. I acted like that because of all these bottled up feelings I have inside. Britt, I need to move on. It hurts when you would tell me about your dates with Artie. I can see in the way you talk about him that you really love him. You know how I move forward. I have to leave my past behind and forget about everything. It's easier for me that way. It's unfair to you but I need to stop seeing and talking to you... maybe just for a while until I'm okay." I looked out the window as I spoke because the tears would surely fall if I look at her. I was already having trouble controlling my voice._

_"Why did you only tell me now?" Brittany asked angrily. "Remember that time when I asked you what you would think of me if you found out that I like girls? You said it would be fine. When I asked if you would ever consider being with a girl, you said…"_

_"It was above my principle. I was trying so hard to deny my feelings for you that I convinced myself that I was straight. You know how my church condemns homosexuality. Look at me now; I left my church because I can't deny my big gay feelings for you." I said bitterly, wrapping my arms across my chest._

_"T-that time, I wanted to tell you but you said those things and I got scared." Her voice faltered as if it was difficult for her to talk. I looked at her in disbelief._

_"What? Why didn't you tell me? So you like me too?" A little bit of hope sparked in my heart._

_"Uh, yeah… at that time. Look I'm past that phase now. I'm dating Artie now." As soon as it ignited, that bit of hope died down._

_"I'm too late, huh."It was clear that she didn't have any feeling for me anymore._

_"Yes, you are." She looked at me sadly._

_"Well, this revelation would surely make it harder for me to move on. Why did I only tell you now? Because I was afraid you would run away when you find out."_

_"So why tell me now?"_

_"There was this movie I watched. The girl advised her friend not to let the girl she likes pass her by without telling her how she feels. That way, whether the girl likes her back or not, she will surely be remembered. It's impossible to forget someone who confessed to you. I have suffered secretly. It would be such a waste if you will never knew the pain I went through. At least now you are aware and you will always remember me for that."I shrugged._

_"I will never forget you because you are my best friend." She sounded hurt._

_"Sometimes I feel like you don't think of me at all. There wasn't a day that I didn't think of you. I've gotten used to it though, that's why I don't say that I miss you. I feel it every day." I looked at my watch and saw that it was time for me to go home. There was a party waiting for me. I told her that she couldn't come._

_"I-I guess this is g-goodbye." I felt like crying again._

_"No." She grabbed my hand. I tried to shake it off but she held onto it firmly. "This is not goodbye. You are not going to leave me out of your life. It's unfair. I don't care if you have feelings for me. It's fine. We will go to your party and then we will see each other the next day, and the day after that, and the days to come." She was crying as she wrapped her arms around me and held me tight. I held on to her and finally let my tears fall, soaking the fabric on her shoulders. Our bodies shook as we tried to control our sobs, pain resonating though them. I didn't know why she was crying. I cried out of regret. I cried for all those missed opportunities when I could have told her. I cried because I thought this was our goodbye. I cried because she didn't let me go. I cried because I know the pain will only get worse. I may be being unfair but she was being selfish too. We stopped after a while and stood there stroking each other's backs. Then, we broke apart and she looked at me with a reassuring smile. Since she already knew, I might as well tell her those words. I would not miss this opportunity._

_"Britt, before we go, I need to tell you something." I said nervously with my voice hoarse from crying._

_"What is it?" She raised her eyebrow and tried to keep her face straight. It was as if she knew what I was about to say._

_"I-I…" Damn! Why was it so hard to say? Maybe saying it in Spanish would be easier. How about in French? Japanese? My brain was about to overload and I still couldn't form the words I wanted to say. She was smiling at me fully now and enjoying my struggle, much to my annoyance._

_"We need to get going, they are waiting for you." She said as she turned and grabbed my hand to leave._

_"I love you." I finally managed to whisper in her ear out of desperation. She just smiled and we walked off of campus._

* * *

I wiped the tears from my eyes and we laughed. This isn't a time to get emotional. It's a wedding not a funeral. It should be happy. She then looked past me and gazed lovingly at her groom. They didn't break their gaze until she reached him and he took her hand. They took their place in front of the minister.

**_Six weeks before the wedding_**

_"Santana!" Brittany squealed in surprise when she opened her front door saw me standing in the foyer._

_"Hey, Britt." I greeted shyly. It had been ten years since I last saw her and it was my fault. I left Lima and stopped all communication with her. "I'm so sor-…" I was cut off by her tight embrace._

_"I missed you so much." She was crying. "I thought I'd never see you again. I should be the one to apologize."_

_"No, Britt. I left and stopped talking to you, remember?" I looked at her with an apologetic smile._

_"No. It was because I turned my back on you. You told me Puck was bad news but I didn't listen to you." She motioned for us to get inside. Her new house looks cozy. We sat on the couch. "I thought he was the one. I was so blinded. After I broke up with Artie, you asked me if we could be together and I didn't give you a straight answer."_

_She grabbed my hand and held it on top of her lap. She took a deep breath before continuing, "We had this more-than-friends-less-than-lovers relationship for a year then I secretly dated Puck. I didn't know how you found out but you didn't say anything even though I promised that I wouldn't be in a relationship until you were ready to accept it."She gave me an apologetic look._

_She took another deep breath to keep voice from breaking, "I didn't notice when we started to drift apart because I put him first. Everyone was against our relationship and it angered me because I thought he was just misunderstood. I was the only one who could understand him and I stood by him because I thought he would change for us. I turned my back on my family and you. I knew you were only mad at me because you saw that I was wasting my life with him. You didn't even tell me that you got a job offer and had to move to New York. I only found out three months after you left." I felt bad for leaving without telling her but I have to._

_"Puck and I had a bad fight and I called you because I was so scared. He hurt me. For the first time, you weren't there to come to my rescue. It was then I realized I lost everything because I chose Puck." She leaned forward to wipe the tears I didn't notice falling down my cheeks. "I broke up with him after that and went back to my family. They forgave me. But, I never got you back." Her voice finally broke as she can no longer keep herself from crying. "I thought I would never find the right man for me until Sam came along."I cupped her face with both of my hands and dried her tears with my thumb. I gave her a reassuring smile. "It took us five years before we got to this point. He understands me like the way you do. He takes good care of me. I would always tell him how his actions were similar with what you did._

_"I never told him about us but he could tell that you truly loved me based on my stories. I really wanted you to come to my wedding so I asked Quinn to give you. I didn't expect you would come."_

_"I wouldn't dare miss my best friend's wedding, you know."I bumped her side and she gave me a pointed look. "Alright, I didn't talk to you for ten years but I think it was long enough for me to finally move on. It was painful leaving you and I was aware of what was happening to you. I didn't try to reach out when I knew you needed me because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stay away from you. I started resenting you after you turned your back on me. I gradually learned how to live without you." There were times that I would miss her too much that I feel my resolve crumbling to call her, especially when I was drunk._

_"I preferred the peacefulness it brought over our exhausting, fucked up friendship. I got tired of solving your problems for you that I enjoyed being free of the burden. I would sometimes feel bad about it but I never made any move to make amends. I also thought that I was the only one who did the chasing back then. If you really wanted me in your life, you would've done everything to get me back. You didn't." I tried not to sound like I blamed her for not chasing me back but she still looked sorry. "I thank you for that." I gave her a sincere smile. "I wasn't able to leave the first time because you didn't let me go. This time I was able to move on because I was finally free of you. I came back because now I am prepared to fulfill my duty as your best friend. No more pain. No more jealousy. You don't need to be careful of what you say about Sam in fear that it'll hurt me." She perked up upon hearing Sam's name and I prepared myself to hear her gush about him. "When do I get to meet him?"_

"This reminds me of Mr. Schue's failed wedding." Quinn said huskily while her finger circled around the rim of her wine goblet. We are at the wedding reception watching the newlyweds dance. The failed wedding happened a year after I left Lima. I knew Brittany had broken up with Puck but I still didn't talk to her. I completely ignored her presence because I wasn't ready to face her.

"That was when we hooked up for the first time." I laugh at the memory. Quinn and I would frequently have lunch together and she helped me a lot with moving on from Brittany. She persuaded me to attend Mr. Schuester's wedding because we knew we shouldn't miss it, but it didn't even happen because Ms. Pillsbury left him at the altar. The reception pushed through though because everyone was back in town and it would have been such a waste.

It is time for Brittany to throw the bouquet and all the single ladies gather around her. Brittany looks at me and frowns. I am standing at the edge of the crowd; she must be expecting me to be in the front. She throws the bouquet and it flies in an arc and lands perfectly in my arms.

"Looks like we are getting married next." Quinn chuckles beside me.

"Looks like it."


End file.
